Where am I… From?

A few weeks ago I posted links on Twitter and Facebook that led to Keith Nixon's review of my latest novella, WELCOME TO THE OCTAGON. Unfortunately, my posts were more concerned about the solitary comment from an anonymous source about where I’m ‘from’ rather than the content of the review. At the time I made light of the comment, because it seemed funny (like a clown and like a weirdo). I like to think I’m pretty good at not taking myself too seriously. Comments like that shouldn’t jibe with me.

But since then, it’s niggled once or twice.

Now, I know that the average anonymous comment is designed to niggle. I also know that I’ve been blessed if this is the only seemingly negative thing that’s been said about my work in the last month (to my knowledge!). But I figure if there’s an itch, you should scratch it. Or slap it, as a tattooist might suggest you deal with post-ink itching.

So, here’s the score:

Facts

My father is from West Belfast. My mother is from Omeath.

I lived in Omeath (seaside town, south of the border) for the first six years of my life.

We moved to Warrenpoint (seaside town, north of the border) and lived there for ten years.

When I was 16 we moved again to a really nice house that was somewhere between Warrenpoint and a little village called Burren (no seaside there).

My parents have since moved to an even nicer house in Burren, but I had my own place by then.

After a bit of messing about in The Holy Lands (Damascus Street, South Belfast), I moved to West Belfast with my girlfriend (who became my wife and the mother of my children). We lived in the Iveagh area, Beechmount and the Old Suffolk Road in the space of five years.

We moved to Dundrum when the kids started to arrive. I live there now but travel to Belfast most days for work.

I went to school in Omeath, Warrenpoint, Burren and Newry, respectively. All of my further and higher education happened in Belfast.

Perception

To be honest, I don’t know where I’m from. I imagine I had a southern accent when I lived in Omeath but don’t remember anybody taking the piss out of it in primary school. My accent has since become a strange hybrid of Belfast-y/County Down culchie. The hint of Belfast in my accent was remarked upon once (that I remember) when I went to post-primary school in Newry (St Colman’s College if you must know). It seemed that the accuser thought I was faking it. Trying to act hard, maybe. I think I just inherited a few twangy words from my da.

It’s no coincidence either that I can ham up a passable West Belfast accent. Years of listening to Westie grandparents, aunties, uncles and cousins provided that. I used it in a short one-man show I performed a few years ago; An Irish Possession. I also managed a generic southern accent for one of the characters I played, though I’m not as good at that one.

So, I’ve got family in West Belfast, have lived in West Belfast, owned a house in West Belfast, but I’m not ‘from’ there. I’m from Omeath, I guess, because I was born there. But I’ve lived in Northern Ireland for a little under 30 years. I grew up in Warrenpoint (or was it Burren?), so maybe I’m from there? But here, I went to school in Newry… does that count for anything? How about the fact that I have lived in Dundrum for 9 years? Can I claim that as my stomping ground? Well, no. I’m a blow-in there, you see. Ask a local.

Tell you what, next time somebody asks me where I’m from, I’ll tell them I’m from all over the place. I can be claimed or denied by whoever, whenever. It's really not that big of a deal. But if an inquisitor presses me, I’ll borrow from my inherited West Belfast humour and cadence.

“Where are you from, Gerard? Really?”

“Your ma.”

Jun Tzu - Born in Belfast

If WEE ROCKETS ever gets made into a movie, I want this guy all over the soundtrack. A Belfast hip-hop beat poet.




But if you don't dig on rap music, you can always listen to my take on Belfast crime right here in this extract from WEE ROCKETS:
 

Peace!

NI crime scenes declining...

Crimes recorded in NI down by 3,000 on previous year

"There were 100,389 crimes recorded by the Police Service of Northern Ireland (PSNI) in 2012/13 compared with 103,389 in 2011/12, a decrease of 3,000 (2.9%)..."

Read the full article here.

Now, I'm not going to suggest that there is a direct link between the fall of Northern Irish crime and the rise in Northern Irish crime fiction -- that'd be crazy talk -- but maybe the good people of NI owe it to the likes of Adrian McKinty, Brian McGilloway, Stuart Neville, Claire McGowan and the rest, to pick up one of their books. Maybe two. If nothing else, it'll fill the hole that a lack of criminal enterprise in 2013 has created.

Another No Alibis Event!

No Alibis Bookstore and Portnoy Press

Invite  You To The launch of

John McAllister’s

Latest novel

THE STATION SERGEANT

…..who will break his first case (of wine) at

No Alibis Bookstore,

83 Botanic Avenue, Belfast

On Wednesday 1^st May at 6.30pm.

When unpopular farmer, Stoop Taylor, is found dead in a field, Station Sergeant John Barlow has a feeling his comfortable life is about to be turned upside down.

Battling local hoodlums, the Dunlops, who are stealing cattle to order, and seeking a traumatised German soldier at large, Barlow finds his personal problems have multiplied as well. His schizophrenic wife turns violent, his daughter is growing up too fast, and the new District Inspector wants him demoted and transferred. To top it all off he has fallen in love with another woman.
The Station Sergeant - One man, one mission: to protect those he loves and find the killer in his community.

Please advise either JOHN or NO ALIBIS to keep a wine glass for you.

TONIGHT!

Scandinavian Crime Night - Arne Dahl, Antti Tuomainen & Stuart Neville

Monday 29th April 6:30PM

Tickets: FREE

Venue: Ulster Museum, Botanic Gardens

No Alibis Bookstore are very pleased to invite you to an evening of Scandinavian Crime on Monday 29th April at 6:30PM in the Ulster Museum. Scandinavian authors Arne Dahl and Antti Tuomainen will be joined by local author Stuart Neville to talk about their latest books. Please note: this is a ticketed event. Tickets are FREE, and are available now.

Regarded as one of the finest literary crime writers in Scandinavia, celebrated author, critic and editor Jan Arnald is the man behind the bestselling Intercrime series, written under the pen name of Arne Dahl. The highly praised series of ten novels has sold more than 2.5 million copies and has won its creator such distinguished awards as the premier crime writing awards in Germany, Denmark and Sweden. In 2007 The Swedish Academy of Crime Writers awarded Arne Dahl a special prize for his "vitalization and development of the crime genre through his Intercrime series".

In 2011 Arne Dahl started writing the second book series, the Opcop quartet. The first installment, Chinese Whispers, was awarded The Swedish Academy of Crime Writers'' Award for ''Best Swedish Crime Novel'' of 2011. The series is already a big success in Germany, Denmark and Sweden, and the third novel in the series will be published in Sweden in May 2013.

Finnish Antti Tuomainen was a copywriter in the advertising industry before he made his literary debut in 2007 as a suspense author. The critically acclaimed Veljeni vartija (My Brother's Keeper) was published two years later. In 2011 Tuomainen's third novel, Parantaja (The Healer), was awarded the Clue Award for 'Best Finnish Crime Novel 2011'. The Finnish press labeled Parantaja – the story of a writer who is desperately searching for his missing wife in a post-apocalyptic Helsinki – as "unputdownable". With a piercing and evocative style, Tuomainen is one of the first to challenge the Scandinavian crime genre formula. Antti Tuomainen lives in Helsinki with his wife. His fourth novel will be published in Finland in June 2013.

Stuart Neville's debut novel, THE TWELVE (published in the USA as THE GHOSTS OF BELFAST), won the Mystery/Thriller category of the Los Angeles Times Book Prize, and was picked as one of the top crime novels of 2009 by both the New York Times and the LA Times. He has been shortlisted for various awards, including the Barry, Macavity, Dilys awards, as well as the Irish Book Awards Crime Novel of the Year. He has twice been longlisted for the Theakstons Old Peculier Crime Novel of the Year. He has since published two critically acclaimed sequels, COLLUSION and STOLEN SOULS. Stuart's novels have been translated into various languages, including German, Japanese, Polish, Swedish, Greek and more. The French edition of The Ghosts of Belfast, Les Fantômes de Belfast, won Le Prix Mystère de la Critique du Meilleur Roman Étranger and Grand Prix du Roman Noir Étranger. His fourth novel, RATLINES, about Nazis harboured by the Irish state following WWII was published January 2013.

Book your tickets now by emailing David, or calling the shop on 9031 9607.

Bittersweety Bye-Bye

I really need to get some pun lessons from Declan Burke...

But here, that's the end of The Sweety Bottle's regional tour. I'm kind of stuck for words, to be honest. It's been emotional, you know? Luckily, Terrence Blaine has plenty to say in his review. It starts out like this:

"When Joe Brennan was a boy growing up in Belfast, his grandfather took over a confectionery store in the Lower Falls area, and installed an illegal drinking club in it. Things that happened in the so-called 'Sweety Bottle', and the characters who drank there, swiftly became the stuff of family legend, and were much debated and discussed over the Brennan family dinner table. Forty years later, in collaboration with his son Gerard, Joe has woven a selection of Sweety Bottle stories together in a two-act play, revisiting a place now gone (levelled in the interests of urban redevelopment), but certainly not forgotten in the memories of those who grew up in the West Belfast area.

Good as the stories are (the audience is in a virtually constant state of hilarity), the danger is that The Sweety Bottle could easily have ended up seeming merely episodic, a string of unconnected anecdotes with no particular reason for putting them on a stage together.

The Brennans have, however, managed their raw material much more cleverly than that: from an early stage the narrative is bound together by lugubrious references to a certain Grinder McVeigh, who has torched a neighbouring shebeen for barring him..." 

Read the rest here.

Curious George

Rather timely meme in the light of yesterday's post...

Click the image to enlarge the print.

#QUBimpact Bonus Material

On Wednesday I was a guest at an event organised by Queen’s University Belfast, as an Irish crime writer. '"Thinking Forward Through the Past", a day of events across Belfast profiling the impact of research within the Faculty of Arts, Humanities and Social Sciences.' They mentioned me in the flier and everything, which was quite cool.

My invitation to this event came from Dr Dominique Jeannerod, a French guy with incredibly good taste in Irish crime fiction. I say this with modesty intact; he hasn’t read my books. Yet. The good Dr Jeannerod kicked off the proceedings with a fascinating presentation on the impact of Irish crime fiction in France. Ken Bruen was described as the most famous among this exclusive set of aficionados who have had their work translated and published in France. Stuart Neville is also a prominent diplomat for the genre, and fair play to the Armagh lad for representing the latest generation of Northern Irish crime writers in such a discerning country. I feel qualified to describe French readers as discerning as I paid very close attention to the presentation. It held my interest despite knowing that I was soon to be interviewed by somebody with an impressive and intimidating wealth of knowledge in Irish crime fiction.

And rather than warm me up with a few easy questions, he hit me with this tricky one-two:

Are you comfortable with the description, Irish crime writer?

Are you equally comfortable with being included in THE MAMMOTH BOOK OF BEST BRITISH CRIME or is that a contradiction?

Can of worms, meet chainsaw.

I can't remember what I said, word for word, but I'll rehash the gist of it...

I think it took me longer to get comfortable with calling myself a writer than it did to figure out my national identity. It was after the publication of THE POINT, actually, in October 2011. I'd achieved a decent amount before then, short story publications, co-editing a crime fiction anthology and Arts Council funding – I'd come excruciatingly close to publication with my novel WEE ROCKETS a couple of times as well. But it wasn't until I had the pleasure of signing paperback copies of my novella at No Alibis that I could look somebody in the eye and say, “Aye, I'm a writer, so I am.”

The Irish thing? Well, when it comes to ticking boxes on an application form, I'll pick Northern Irish if it's there, Irish if it's not. I was born south of the border but have lived in the North since I was six years old. I say Derry, not Londonderry. It 's a habit that comes from growing up Catholic. But I don't practice the faith I inherited except to go to christenings, weddings and funerals. But, yes, I'm comfortable with calling myself an Irish crime writer. And I'll not turn my nose up at the sub-categorisation of Northern Irish crime writer either.

Do I belong in THE MAMMOTH BOOK OF BEST BRITISH CRIME?

Well, I have a British passport. A couple of years ago, I needed one fast and couldn't be arsed going to Dublin for it. How's that for swallowing your cultural heritage? A past version of myself might have been appalled at my lack of Irish pride. Nowadays, I'm not that bothered. It's just a wee red book. And TMBBBC is a big read book. I was honoured to have my story in a collection with some of the biggest names in British crime fiction (and a couple of great Irish writers who were also happy with the contradiction). In fact, I'd probably have been pissed off if being Irish had disqualified me. That British passport entitles me, you know!

The event lasted an hour and a half, but Dr Jeannerod (he may prefer Dominique, but I really like the look of Dr Jeannerod) didn't get through all of his questions. I got a copy of them from him and over the next week I'm going to select a handful and basically interview myself... with somebody else's questions. If that seems horribly self-indulgent to you, consider this post fair warning and avoid the blog for a week two.

New Novella!

FIGHT CARD MMA: WELCOME TO THE OCTAGON

Belfast 2013

Mickey The Rage Rafferty has gone through some tough times, but he's not ready to tap-out just yet. The Belfast widower has to take care of his eight-year-old daughter, Lily. However, his main talent is fighting and the only way he can make enough money off it to support his girl is to take dodgy underground matches paying off in bloodstained cash. Mickey’s trainer, Eddie Smith, doesn't approve. He wants his most promising student to step into the cage as a real martial artist, not as a fool for thugs and gangsters.

With Eddie on the verge of cutting him loose, Mickey is up against the cage – crushed between fast cash and a legitimate career. Mickey has some big decisions to make and some even bigger opponents to face.

The MMA life can be harsh, and it’s never easy ... Welcome To The Octagon ...

Buy it now!

Amazon UK

Amazon US

#QUBimpact

Click on the image for a better look.

Everybody Freeze! No Alibis Scandinavian Crime Night

Scandinavian Crime Night

Mon 29^th April 6.30pm

No Alibis Bookstore

Arne Dahl (Sweden) & Antti Tuomainen (Finland)

With Stuart Neville

A handsome trio, I think you'll agree. Very photogenic. Make one of them smile on the night and you win a high five.

No Alibis Event

Claire McGowan
Saturday 6th April 3:00PM
Tickets: FREE

No Alibis Bookstore invite you to celebrate the launch of Claire McGowan's second novel, THE LOST, on Saturday 6th April at 3:00PM. 

THE START OF AN EXCITING NEW SERIES FEATURING FORENSIC PSYCHOLOGIST PAULA MAGUIRE, WITH THE POTENTIAL TO APPEAL TO AN AUDIENCE BEYOND THE WORLD OF CRIME. 

Not everyone who's missing is lost. 

When two teenage girls go missing along the Irish border, forensic psychologist Paula Maguire has to return to the hometown she left years before. Swirling with rumour and secrets, the town is gripped by fear of a serial killer. But the truth could be even darker. 

Not everyone who's lost wants to be found. 

Surrounded by people and places she tried to forget, Paula digs into the cases as the truth twists further away. What's the link with two other disappearances from 1985? And why does everything lead back to the town's dark past- including the reasons her own mother went missing years before? 

Nothing is what it seems. 

As the shocking truth is revealed, Paula learns that sometimes, it's better not to find what you've lost. 

Claire McGowan grew up in a small village in Northern Ireland. After completing a degree in English and French from Oxford University she moved to London and worked in the charity sector. She is currently the Director of the Crime Writer's Association. THE FALL is her first novel. 

To book your free spot, email David or call the shop on 9031 9607. 

Time

I hear myself say, "I don't really have the time, sorry," quite often. Since I'm sitting in the middle of a pretty decadent Saturday afternoon scene right now -- one barefoot mancub playing trains while his younger counterpart watches In The Night Garden during the day with his welly boots on -- and I am being ignored for the time being, I guess I have a few moments to analyse that.

I currently work full-time. My job requires I put in a 36-hour week if I'm not taking advantage of decent annual leave and flexi-time. For this exercise, we'll stick with a standard week. I take half an hour for lunch most days. So I give 38.5 hours to the place during a normal week.

I live an hour away, so that's a two-hour return commute over fives days. 10 more hours.

My kids require attention (not complaining -- stating a fact), so lets say that I can't concentrate on anything but them (based on their bed time, but it can vary due to sickness, insomnia or a bit of messing about) for at least three hours a day, on a week day. That's 15 hours.

On a typical week day, I sleep for five or six hours. Call it about 30 hours from Monday to Friday.

I get my exercise at a local boxing club three nights a week. With travel time, that's about six hours.

I'm married and enjoy spending time with my wife (don't raise your eyebrows, some of us do). Maybe two or three hours a night. call that 15 hours.

So:

38.5 + 10 + 15 + 30 + 6  + 15 = 114.5 hours.

Hours in those days:

24 X 5 = 120

It looks like I have 5.5 hours to play with during a working week. In that time I write, read, edit, spend time online, watch a bit of telly or a decent movie. Sure, I can do some of that with my wife and/or the kids, but not all of it. Not by a long stretch.

Moral of this post? I guess I do have time. Just don't expect me to be pleasant if you steal some of it. You're either eating in to my family time or sleep time. And thank God for the weekend! But that's for me, my family and my close friends. Don't ask me what I do with those 48 hours. I'm likely to tell you it's none of your feckin' business.

Love y'all lots like jelly tots.

What's THE POINT of this Competition?

The winner of this contest has been chosen and contacted. Thanks to all who had a punt.

Right, you beautiful people. I'm feeling a little needy and neglected today so I'm going to invite you all to enter a wee competition that'll hopefully cure me of my self-pity.

I want more Amazon reviews, most preferably a 20th 5-star review for WEE ROCKETS on Amazon UK, but I'll gratefully accept anything you're willing to give me. So, review any of my books on Amazon UK or Amazon US (or both!) between now and Friday 15th March 2013 at 23:59 GMT, and I'll enter you into a draw for a signed copy of the paperback version of THE POINT.

You up for it?

I hope so. It'll be embarrassing if nobody enters.

Of course, I'm no stranger to embarrassment.

But I keep setting myself up for it.

The Sweety Bottle -- Coming VERY soon!

Belfast in the 1970s. At the rear of Brennan’s sweet shop, a popular ‘shebeen’ is in full swing. This secret drinking den is a place where punters come to escape the troubles around them and to exorcise their own personal demons.

Through the many huge characters and calamitous incidents, we embark on a voyage to an era where the city and its people never ceased to find humour in even the darkest of times.

A hilariously nostalgic trip down memory lane, ‘The Sweety Bottle’ is sure to have you crying with laughter as we remember everything that was good about Belfast during the rare auld times.

Directed by Tony Devlin

Written by Joe Brennan and Gerard Brennan

Starring Marty Maguire, Carol Moore, Lalor Roddy, Gordon Fulton, Gerard Jordan and Ciaran Nolan

The tour is starting next week! Check the Brassneck Theatre Company website for tour dates.
 

Ode to a Nightingale by John Keats

Ode to a Nightingale by John Keats : The Poetry Foundation

My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains

         My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk,

Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains

         One minute past, and Lethe-wards had sunk:

'Tis not through envy of thy happy lot,

         But being too happy in thine happiness,—

                That thou, light-winged Dryad of the trees

                        In some melodious plot

         Of beechen green, and shadows numberless,

                Singest of summer in full-throated ease.

O, for a draught of vintage! that hath been

         Cool'd a long age in the deep-delved earth,

Tasting of Flora and the country green,

         Dance, and Provençal song, and sunburnt mirth!

O for a beaker full of the warm South,

         Full of the true, the blushful Hippocrene,

                With beaded bubbles winking at the brim,

                        And purple-stained mouth;

         That I might drink, and leave the world unseen,

                And with thee fade away into the forest dim:

Fade far away, dissolve, and quite forget

         What thou among the leaves hast never known,

The weariness, the fever, and the fret

         Here, where men sit and hear each other groan;

Where palsy shakes a few, sad, last gray hairs,

         Where youth grows pale, and spectre-thin, and dies;

                Where but to think is to be full of sorrow

                        And leaden-eyed despairs,

         Where Beauty cannot keep her lustrous eyes,

                Or new Love pine at them beyond to-morrow.

Away! away! for I will fly to thee,

         Not charioted by Bacchus and his pards,

But on the viewless wings of Poesy,

         Though the dull brain perplexes and retards:

Already with thee! tender is the night,

         And haply the Queen-Moon is on her throne,

                Cluster'd around by all her starry Fays;

                        But here there is no light,

         Save what from heaven is with the breezes blown

                Through verdurous glooms and winding mossy ways.

I cannot see what flowers are at my feet,

         Nor what soft incense hangs upon the boughs,

But, in embalmed darkness, guess each sweet

         Wherewith the seasonable month endows

The grass, the thicket, and the fruit-tree wild;

         White hawthorn, and the pastoral eglantine;

                Fast fading violets cover'd up in leaves;

                        And mid-May's eldest child,

         The coming musk-rose, full of dewy wine,

                The murmurous haunt of flies on summer eves.

Darkling I listen; and, for many a time

         I have been half in love with easeful Death,

Call'd him soft names in many a mused rhyme,

         To take into the air my quiet breath;

                Now more than ever seems it rich to die,

         To cease upon the midnight with no pain,

                While thou art pouring forth thy soul abroad

                        In such an ecstasy!

         Still wouldst thou sing, and I have ears in vain—

                   To thy high requiem become a sod.

Thou wast not born for death, immortal Bird!

         No hungry generations tread thee down;

The voice I hear this passing night was heard

         In ancient days by emperor and clown:

Perhaps the self-same song that found a path

         Through the sad heart of Ruth, when, sick for home,

                She stood in tears amid the alien corn;

                        The same that oft-times hath

         Charm'd magic casements, opening on the foam

                Of perilous seas, in faery lands forlorn.

Forlorn! the very word is like a bell

         To toll me back from thee to my sole self!

Adieu! the fancy cannot cheat so well

         As she is fam'd to do, deceiving elf.

Adieu! adieu! thy plaintive anthem fades

         Past the near meadows, over the still stream,

                Up the hill-side; and now 'tis buried deep

                        In the next valley-glades:

         Was it a vision, or a waking dream?

                Fled is that music:—Do I wake or sleep?

The Next Big Thing!

I’ve been tagged in this blog hop thing four or five times now but it keeps getting put on the backburner. Got a lot on my mind these days and quite a few projects on the go. Too many maybes to go into it all properly so I’ll not bore you with the details. But today I took a wee bit of time to fill out this meme-type questionnaire and get rid of the vague guilt that ignoring the tags has created.

Being the rebel that I am, I’ve decided to break one of the rules. Rather than tag anybody else, I figure I’d point you towards some of the fine people who thought of me when they filled this out for themselves.

Check out Rob Kitchin, Eva Dolan, Jay Faulkner and Natasha Geary’s websites. Sorry for the tardy response guys!

And now, the Q&A:

What is the working title of your next book?

Welcome to the Octagon, a Fight Card MMA novella, due for release in April 2013 and written under the open pseudonym, Jack Tunney.

Where did the idea come from for your book?

I put out a question on Twitter one day asking for opinions. I wanted to know if people thought a new boxing novel would generate interest or if the growing sport of mixed martial arts (MMA or cage-fighting) would be more a more intriguing subject. The responses shaped the outline and consequently, the writing of this novella.

What genre does the book fall under?

Generally crime fiction. Specifically it’s an application of the Robert E Howard-esque pulp-era boxing tales to a modernized setting and sport. Does that make me sound smart? No? Nevermind.

What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movies rendition?

I can’t think of any martial arts action movie heroes with Northern Irish accents. I suppose I’d ask the movie folk to trawl the burgeoning Irish MMA scene for wannabe actors. But the movie folk would ignore me, I’m sure. Is there a Belfast Chuck Norris? Barry the Blender doesn’t count.

What is the one sentence synopsis of your book?

Belfast widower, Mickey ‘The Rage’ Rafferty, fights in unlicensed bouts to support his daughter, but he’s finally got a shot at competing in a real professional organization, so long as his shady past doesn’t ruin it for him.

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

It’ll be published by Fight Card, an impressive new outfit that’s been putting out boxing novellas for a couple of years now. Mine will be one of the first in their new line of MMA novellas.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?

A little over a month. I outlined and thought about the story for a few months before the start of the wordsmithing slog, though.

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

Anything coming out under the Fight Card label. I read most of the books before tackling my own take on the concept. Great reads. Seriously, check out their site!

Who or what inspired you write this book?

Well, Paul Bishop – one of the co-creators of Fight Card Publications – first approached me about writing it after my Twitter ruminations, so I guess he gets the first credit. I also enjoy watching MMA, have friends who train in it (shout out to G-Wat and Mark B!) and have a little bit of a martial arts background myself.

What else about the book might pique the reader’s interest?

I think anybody who can appreciate the complexities of the sport will get a kick out of the technical detail of the fight scenes. I sweated blood over those scenes!

Amazon Reviews

This is something I struggle with. I spend way too much time thinking about the idea of reviewing other writers on Amazon. Why? I'll fire some random thoughts into a list. Let's see how many we get.

1. The sockpuppet thing (OLD NEWS, I KNOW!) bugged me in many ways. That's all I'll say about that topic.

2. It's nice to be nice. When other writers review my work on Amazon, I remember their name and if I get time, I return the favour.

3. 'Favour' is a tricky word, isn't it? Most people don't expect quid pro quo, I'm sure. I don't. But 'favour' gives the impression that some reviews may be more generous than they should be.

4. I don't finish a book I don't like unless I'm being paid to review or talk about it.

5. Sometimes I read a book, say to myself, 'That was great! I should review that on Amazon!' (especially if it's an ebook or a small press title) and then I forget to do it.

6. Forgetting to do things can stress me out.

7. I don't write well when I'm stressed.

8. I like it when people like me.

9. I don't care when people don't like me (this may be bravado).

10. Sometimes I think that I'm wasting writing time by trying to come up with smart and snappy reviews on Amazon.

11. There's some weird digital black hole that often deletes reviews written by writers for other writers who don't make money from said other writers book sales but have the potential to and then everybody gets angry. (I might not have paid much attention to that last phenomenonenomnomnom.)

12. I don't like to work for free any more than anybody else.

13. Should Amazon reviews be considered work?

14. There are more thoughts rattling about in my head but I'm starting to get worried about my time and mental health here.

The list ends now.

I've been very lucky with reviews to date on blogs and on Amazon. I may even have been reviewed a few times in newspapers and the like. Some people seem to like my writing. Some people definitely don't. What I'm interested in knowing is: Am I being a bit ridiculous here? Should I just stop reviewing on Amazon altogether? Have I just wasted another chunk of time right there? Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comment section. Or don't. I know we're all busy.

Anybody reading this blog for the first time should know, my books are generally better written than this here post. If I'm lying, buy one of my books and read it and then post an angry review on Amazon. ABC, Always Be Closing! Tee hee.

gb

A Wee Wayne Simmons Review - THE CREEPER by Tania Carver

If ever there was a book that 'does what it says on the tin', it's THE CREEPER. 

Everygirl Suzanne Perry wakes after a nightmare where an intruder came into her room while she slept, only to find a photograph of herself on the edge of the bed. Meanwhile, Colchester's finest are at the docks where the mutilated body of a young woman has been discovered. A little to'ing and fro'ing by DI Phil Brennan and team, and the two cases become linked. So when Suzanne Perry goes missing, the body of her best friend left in the wake, everyone fears the worst... 

This book is something of a rarity: a hard boiled crime novel set within the UK, yet American in its delivery. Carver delivers the goods, THE CREEPER's writing almost noir-ish in feel, with tersely written prose and punchy dialogue, hacked into short, sharp chapters. The characters are mostly well-rounded and flawed, and - until the end, at least - don't fall foul of stereotyping. 

Everything is well balanced within this book. Sure, the focus is often on our two main players, their relationship a particularly important part of the story. But nothing overstays its welcome. This is a pacey read, the story belting along at a ferocious pace, twisting and turning towards an action-packed finale. 

As a horror fan, I'm always looking for gore and suspense within my crime reading and THE CREEPER didn't disappoint on either front. In fact, I've nothing really bad to say about the book. This is as addictive a read as you're going to get, the very definition of page-turner. 

I can't recommend it enough. 

Wayne Simmons

www.waynesimmons.org

An Interview - Catriona King

Catriona King was born and raised in Belfast, Northern Ireland. She trained as a Doctor, moving to London to live and work. She obtained her M.B.A. from Henley Management College in Oxfordshire , trained as a police Forensic Medical examiner  and worked in central London in General Practice, Community Paediatrics and Health Management and strategy. She worked closely with the Metropolitan Police on many occasions. In recent years, she has returned to live in Belfast.

She has written since childhood, fiction, fact and reporting.

‘A Limited Justice’ is her first novel. It follows Detective Chief Inspector Marc Craig and his team, through the streets of Belfast and Northern Ireland, in the hunt for the killer of three people.

‘The Grass Tattoo’ her second novel was released in December 2012. It follows lust, greed and foreign gang influences leading to murders in Belfast and further afield.

The third D.C.I. Craig novel ‘The Visitor’ will be released in March 2013 and a fourth novel is nearing completion.

What are you writing at the minute? 

I've just finished editing the third book in the D.C.I. Craig series called 'The Visitor' due out in March 2013. It's set in April 2013 and is about unusual murders set in the world of a fictional hospital in Northern Ireland. I've also completed the first draft of book four which is provisionally called 'The Waiting Room' set around the time of the June 2013 G8 summit being held in Northern Ireland this year. We're hoping to release that in late May 2013. I've also written a play which is being performed in Belfast in May.

Can you give us an idea of your typical up-to-the-armpits-in-ideas-and-time writing day?

Well… if I'm lucky enough to have a full day free to write (I have a real job as well) then I'll start at 8 or 9 am and write until the natural light fades, somewhere between five pm in the Winter to seven pm in spring/summer. But I can only do that for three days in a row then I have to take a break for a couple of days or my head starts to hurt! :)

What do you do when you’re not writing?

I work in the real world to pay the mortgage, and I run a Belfast-based theatre company called The Studio which will be putting on two plays at the MAC in Belfast later this year. And I do all the normal things. Watch TV (crime or movies! especially anything with Viggo Mortensen or Michael Fassbender in them. Or directed by David Cronenberg. That being said a bit of Bruce Willis is fun too, especially the Die Hard movies) and meet friends for coffee, chat. Generally I just live life.

Any advice for a greenhorn trying to break into the genre fiction scene?

Yes, absolutely. Keep trying and don't be put off by rejections. A rejection just means that particular person didn't click with your book. Take on-board any advice they give you and take a long look at your book, and if you believe in their advice then redraft. But don't lose the core of your book or idea. Believe in yourself and trust the opinions of honest people you respect and then keep writing. There is no substitute for being a good writer except to write, practice, edit and redraft. It's hard work but it's worth it.

Which writers have impressed you this year?

Hilary Mantel without a doubt and Alifa Rifaat.

What are you reading right now?

Distant View of a Minaret by Alifa Rifaat. It's about the life of a woman in Egypt. Excellent. And I would tell everyone to look at the Perceval Press www.percevalpress.com for surprising and truly wonderful books. It's a U.S. site but they ship everywhere. And support your local bookshops.

Plans for the future?

Perhaps write another play. And I'd love to script write, for TV or film and I'm thinking of ideas for a screenplay right now.

With regards to your writing career to date, would you do anything differently?

Mmm.... That's an interesting question. I had an agent for a while and I do regret that, principally because it delayed everything and I spent ages just waiting for them to submit to people that they thought I should submit to. I left them and then weeks later read an article about a Belfast Author Rose McClelland who was with Crooked Cat Publishing, a new publisher setting up in Edinburgh. So I submitted directly to them and we clicked immediately. They are brilliant and very supportive.

Do you fancy sharing your worst writing experience?

The agent, who shall remain nameless. I think also that publishing can be a very cliquey business and established publishers sometimes won't take a risk on first time authors or less well known writers. They are also often to take risks and just go for what they know sells, which will change in any given year e.g. the vogues for vampires, reality show based books, celebrity biogs. That's why Perceval Press is such an awesome organisation. They stretch people to open their eyes and look at things differently.  And genre bookshops like 'No Alibis' in Belfast which focuses on Crime and American studies are well worth a visit.

Anything you want to say that I haven’t asked you about?

Just to say that I've deliberately set my detective series in post -troubles 2012 Belfast and onwards. I think people are tired hearing/reading about the Troubles (or maybe I am). The hero has no political or religious bias at all, and he's half-Italian to represent the other communities living in Northern Ireland. I wanted the books to belong to everyone and perhaps to do something positive to cross the divide (even if they are murder mysteries!) and I also wanted to showcase the beauty and good things like restaurants and countryside of Northern Ireland, as Morse does with Oxford and Rebus does with Edinburgh. Perhaps people will get to know Northern Ireland through the books and pay it a visit.

Thanks for interviewing me.

Thank you, Catriona King!